Divorced Talk

Telling Your Parents About the Divorce

The decision to divorce or not might only be between you and your spouse. However, the outcome of that decision will affect many people. Therefore, you do owe those closest to you an explanation about the divorce. Sharing bad news is never an easy thing to do. However, you can get through it all by keeping a few pointers in mind.

Before you come right out and tell your parents about the divorce, try to give them some clues about the divorce. Rarely does a divorce happen overnight. Instead, it is usually a decision that takes time to manifest itself. So once you realize your marriage is probably not going to make it, you should start dropping hints. In the presence of your parents, do not pretend to be loving towards your spouse. Allow for there to be space between you and your spouse. Your parents will notice this, and realize that there are some marital problems between the two of you. So when you do finally tell them that you are in fact getting a divorce, your parents will not feel as though you have just dropped a major bomb on them.

If your parents ask you about your plans with your spouse for a holiday or vacation, do not make up stories about how the two of you plan on going on a romantic getaway. Let them know that you do not think going on vacation is the best thing for the two of you right now. In fact, you can even state that you think some time apart might be good for you and your spouse.

Relax on Your First Date After Divorce

Dating for the first time after a divorce is kind of scary. The years of marriage have caused your dating skills to get a little rusty. So you might not be sure whether or not you still have your magic touch.

Also, if it has been a really long time since you have dated anyone besides your ex-spouse you might not be all that familiar with the new dating scene. Like do you even know what is or is not appropriate for the first date anymore? If you feel unsure about these type of things, you are likely to feel extremely anxious prior to—and perhaps even during—your first date after the divorce.

A lot of things might have changed since you last dated, but certain things have yet to go out of style. For instance, people are still attracted to dates who give off a positive vibe. So instead of being all nervous and jittery, try to relax. Be your usual cool and confident self. Your date will find you to be a much more enjoyable companion. Plus you are more likely to have fun when you let your guards down a little.

How can you relax during your date? Try taking slow deep breaths whenever you feel your pulse quickening. Also, try to keep your attention outward instead of inward. In other words, focus on what your date is saying, instead of worrying about things like how you currently look. Your date will enjoy the attention as well.

Pretty Girls Have the Freedom to Fart

And eat. And burp. And pretty much anything else.

Something that I’ve noticed as a conventionally non-pretty girl is that pretty girls seem to have the right to act human while us non-pretty girls don’t. For example, if Courtney Cox wants to eat an entire bowl of ranch dressing, people can say that it’s quirky or funny or whatever—but if she were thirty pounds heavier, do you think the comments would change? I can guarantee they would.

It’s funny that she says she has a hard time dating, too; I doubt she’s ever turned down.

My youngest sister is absolutely gorgeous, and she is always doing things that would be considered taboo for “ugly” girls—farting, burping, whatever. She is absolutely shameless, which we find funny because she’s so gutsy and daring; but at the same time, I realize that I could never try to do such things. Even if I make a joke about loving this food or that, I am given a look that screams, “You don’t need any more food.” And I know if I were to fart or burp or eat ranch dressing in public, I would be either verbally or silently chastised, even hated, since I’m a big woman who doesn’t seem “cute” doing it.

Big girls and other “ugly” girls already have to avoid swimming and swimsuits, shorts, sleeveless shirts in 100-degree weather, eating in public, and plenty of other activities just so others don’t ridicule us (because you’re, like, so grossed out by us and stuff! Even though we have to put up with your obnoxious voice, loud cell phone habits, crappy perfume, cigarette smoke, and worse)—though, believe me, we still manage to offend people with our very existence and no one is afraid to vocalize that to us.

But you’re also going to hold us to another standard when it comes to our simple body functions that are equal to your own, simply because we look different? Some say that weight prejudice is the last socially acceptable form of jerkitude, and I am inclined to agree. Insult someone for their height, hair color, ability, speech impediment, whatever and you’ll be a social pariah; do it regarding someone’s weight and you’ll have a crowd gathered to join you in no time. (I would add being gay and being poor to this list, myself, since people seem to think it’s okay to ridicule these people in public as well.) I certainly look forward to the day when everyone can live their lives the way they see fit—as long as no one is being harmed in the process—and everyone else can simply mind their own damn business.